Piggybacking on the topic of People Pleasers (see my previous post) who go along with whatever others ask of them--often at their own expense--let's talk about saying no. Or more specifically, HOW to say no.
Let's pretend someone comes to you and asks you for a favor. I'll let you in on a little secret: there's a particular, time-tested, effective method for saying no to someone. I will share this proven method of response with you. Are you ready? OK, here goes:
- FAVOR ASKER: "Hey, can you do this for me?"
- YOU: "No."
That's it! There's your method! Hey, if you want to put an extra polite swirl on it, you can say "Sorry. No." But you are not obligated to say more than that. You don't need to justify your answer or provide an excuse. It was your decision to make, and you made it. The reasons behind it are your business and no one else's.
And before you say "But I don't want to hurt their feelings", remember the person came to you with a yes/no question--which means they knew there was at least a 50% chance you'd say no (unless, of course, they thought you were a pushover--in which case, they got the answer they deserved and that you were probably overdue to give).
Plus, if they #respect you, they will respect your decision. And, if they didn't before, they might start respecting you now that you demonstrate an ability to set limits on what you will and won't do. And that is the point: you have to #loveyourself enough to consider your own needs and enforce #boundaries when necessary.
I'm not suggesting you should NEVER do things for people. I'm simply saying that "YES" shouldn't be a knee-jerk response to every single request, because your needs are important, too, and require no explanation.
Reasonable people will understand that you are within your rights to turn down their request and assume that you had a good reason. So "NO" is a complete sentence.
. #positivevibes #confidence #believeinyourself #bestlife #behappy #change #choosehappiness #empowerment #encouragement #goals #happiness #inspiration #knowyourworth #lifegoals #lifecoach #motivation #personalgrowth #positivity #relationships #selflove #selfcare #selfconfidence #success #youcandoit